Words From a Fellow Cynic.

Some days I look out the window and feel nothing. Some days, like today, I look out the window to my left and find myself in the company of a bright red cardinal resting in the tree next to me. We make eye contact and the thoughts and feelings come pouring in. On a day when my existence was heavy, and a negative outlook was all I felt, the universe provided me with a true, genuine moment. A moment that offered comfort away from the reality of things. I think about this cardinal sitting in the tree beside me and wonder...how many people has he visited today and created a similar moment to the one I just experienced? How many people feel a pound lighter because this beautifully natural bird stopped by their window? Would that bird feel satisfied if it knew its impact? The realities of man and bird are different, of course, but how can one experience a moment like that and not realize that the size of one's impact does not diminish the weight of the impact. I'd like to say the same about moments between two people. There are endless, countless, infinite amounts of people who have been touched in insurmountable ways just by simple moments with another. On a day where the world is just plain ugly in someone's eyes, one smile or laugh or conversation with a kind stranger or friend could be enough to soften their gaze. Sure, birds do not have comprehension of currency or monetary value but why should those human-like thoughts stop us from realizing that profound moments can be so many things. Who gets to decide what a "real moment" is?

A similar thought to that- who gets to decide what "real change" is? Is there just one person who gets to call the shots on what the definition of "real" is? I suppose one can take scale into account when speaking about change; scale of how many people felt or were affected by that change. But even if only one person felt anything from that change, would that make it any less real? I can understand why it might feel less important...but it still matters. What matters is up to one's own opinion, that's true, but the themes of what matters all have to do with what one might feel inside. If someone can assign value to the efforts they put forth toward a change that they would like to see happen, then who is to say that those efforts don't matter?

As a cynical mind, I woke up to a dark sky on a day that should be a positive one on my path. I found myself wondering how I can find the inspiration I need when the universe decided to be grey, cold, and wet. I woke up with the same amount of money in my bank account that I had yesterday. It is wakeups like this that can allow cynics to feel solidified in their distaste in the day that they haven't even lived through yet. But just when any chance of a good day feels lost, the clouds begin to part; just enough for the smallest sliver of light to shine through and cast a feeling of warmth. A day that began as feeling less than important turned to a day where my value as a human being did not depend on my monetary value. A day where I was sure I did not matter and did not have anything to offer turned to a day where I smiled at someone I did not know, and I could see their entire facial expression and body language change just at the sight of my smile.

A cynical mind is a very easy one to get lost in especially when the society built around us has been driven by money and status. But I would like to take this space to remind myself and those incredibly special people around me that our value and our importance is not centered around what is in our pockets. Take time to reflect on moments in which you experienced help or kindness from someone and think about the way that made you feel. Now, reflect on the moments in which you were the one to provide light and ease to someone without having to spend a single dollar. Your love, your energy, your soul can be more than enough to cause change and leave an everlasting mark on someone. You are not a dollar sign. You are a celestial energy with so much to give. Take a lesson from the friendly neighborhood cardinal and recenter yourself to not get lost in the noxious cycles of the society around you.

Money is not everything, but you are.

10/4/2022